Questions

I need a Q&A parenting manual. Seriously. One for older kids because I have more questions now than ever before.

What do you do when your have an extreamly picky eater (no vegetables whatsoever)? When do you step in on sibling arguments? What is the line between teaching that hitting is not OK, but at the same time it's OK to defend yourself? What about when you find out a prayer was said at your daughter's girl scout meeting and you're not religious? How do you deal with sass and attitude in a way that conveys that you deserve respect but doesn't squash every budding sense of independence they are feeling?  How much do you force reading practice on a kid who doesn't LOVE it but needs it? Where is the line about what music is too grown up for a 7 year old? Same question for books. When should you start giving allowance? Talking about sex and romantic relationships? If your 1st grader says they have a crush on someone do you address it or brush it off? What exactly does that mean anyway? How much is too much activity (scheduling)? How much is too much down time?


This is the reason why my mom used to always tell us that the hardest (and best) job she ever had was to be a parent. We used to groan at that answer because how difficult was it to cook dinner for us? But now, as a grown 30 something year old lady, with a 7 year old and an ALMOST 6 year old, I get it. Because who the heck has the answers to all those questions?

Homework Help

I haven't been writing much because we've been super busy.

No, I haven't been writing much because I haven't made time for it.

Most days are filled with working at the kids school, work at the office and then, when I'm home, there is always laundry and cooking and dishes to do and floors that need cleaning and weeds to be pulled. Every time I sit at my desk there is a pile of papers next to me with bills and forms and information sheets to all be read and gone through and dealt with.  Not to mention the children who kind of like it if I read a book to them once in awhile and hang out in their rooms. On top of that, all three of my family seem to be needing a little extra time and attention from me. That is a good thing as I feel like all four of us are functioning better, the kids are arguing less, Peter and I are arguing less and it all takes time. Truth be told, if I had to allot out my time according to my whims it would go like this: family, my projects/interests, cooking, making our house nice, work. However, since I don't get paid for any of the first three here is the way it actually goes: family, family management (schedule, errands, etc.), (trying to) make our house nice (i.e. cleaning), work, cooking, and my projects and interests. Sigh.

The best part is I know this is just the season of life we are in. It won't last forever, someday I will have lots of time to write and take pictures and travel but not right now. And that's OK, because what i have right now is great. Someday I won't need to read aloud endlessly or go "buy" books from Mr. T's book sale or help with kindergarten projects, or get my kids drinks of water whenever they need it (come to think of it, that should be something they can do themselves....).

For now though, we have this. Homework in the sun, strawberry frapuccino at her side, and a mom she wants to ask for homework help from even though she doesn't need it.

Beach Bed

First day of our annual ladies beach trip and we're staying in my favorite beach house ever. For the next two mornings, I will be waking up to this view. Ahhh.........

Rhododendron Garden

I'm madly packing to leave tomorrow for a ladies trip to the beach but thought I would put something up in the meantime. Things have been wonderful lately, not perfect, but wonderful.

This morning I went on the kindergarten field trip to the Rhododendron garden and it went very well. No migraines, minimal telling the kids to "quit it" and the one I was telling it to the entire time was the same guy the teacher is telling that to all the time. We ran around, fed ducks, took pictures and I briefly looked at the flowers as I was racing past them trying to keep up with three 5 year old boys.

I still am not fond of field trips and probably won't go on many in the future, but it felt a little redeeming to get off the bus today happy and migraine - free.

Miss E's Sleeping Buddy

Every night before I go to bed, I go check on each kid - you know, to make sure they're still breathing. It has become a habit and I've never skipped doing it any night I'm at home. I'm not sure I'll ever stop. Maybe when they're at college, I'll be sneaking into their dorm rooms to check and make sure they are still breathing. Or maybe they'll have long-range video monitors by then. Not that that's weird or anything. I'm also not sure WHY I think that me checking on them will make sure they keep breathing all night or WHY I think that my perfectly healthy 5 or 7 year old might stop breathing in the middle of the night, but my only defense is that there is very little rationality involved in a mother's love.

Anyway.... more often than not these evenings, when I check on Miss E, this is what I find. Her fast asleep and an indignant cat face looking at me like "you can't possibly be thinking of moving me?". And then I move him off and he give me haughty looks and slowly stretches his stiff limbs and flips his tail up at me and moves out of the room. I tell you, cats can give disdain like no other creature.

Stowaway

Peter returned from his camping trip with a little stowaway in his car. This little passenger got into the glove box, chewed up the registration, a few ketchup packets and generally acted like an ill-behaved house guest. He (she?) had to go.

We first tried leaving the car door open in the driveway for a few hours to see if he would be smart and escape on his own. No such luck. Tonight Peter set a few traps inside the car. The first trap was liberated of it's cheese within a few minutes so it was re-set with peanut butter. A few minutes later, dead mouse. Miss E had asked if we would save it so she could see it in the morning and since she was still awake we let her get up and see it tonight so the thing didn't have to spend the night dead in Peter's car. Ewww.

They're Hatching!

The kids and I went out to breakfast this morning and an older couple paid for our breakfast. It was kind of awesome. I think they thought I was a single mom taking her kids out to eat (no wedding ring, no husband on Sunday morning) but I also think people assume that a lot about me. 

This afternoon we went to the school where Mr. T's teacher was hosting an open house because the chicks were hatching! So exciting. We were the first ones there and got to help her move the first chicks from the incubator into the holding pen. Mr. T explained to us all about the stages and how they were developing and why there were dice in the water bowl (to keep them from drowning) and told us which one was which of the 6 that were hatched.